17 October 2009

Just a typical day's complaints:

JUST AN FYI FROM A CREDIT UNION

1. When I say Hello and how are you, your response should not be your account number. Hi. I am a person. If you do give me your account number at this time, trust me, my smile is now fake.

2. When I do ask you for your account number, you should not be surprised by this. You should not have to look for it for five minutes. I do not want to look it up by your name. Believe it or not, there is more than one Maria Sanchez, Mike Anderson, and John Smith. Chances are you are not as unique as you would like to think.

3. When you want information or cash back, do not expect me to know you by name. Sure I know some members. And I recognize a lot of faces. But unless I know you off hand by name, ID please. And don't be offended I don't know you as well as you'd like. Do you know how many people I help on a daily basis?

4. When you want information or cash back, do not try to explain your way out of not showing me valid ID. If you want me to do you that kind of favor, don't be mad if I do everyone else that favor from Your account.

5. When I drop my pen and dive under the counter to retrieve it instead of grabbing one of the dozens I have in the spinner next to me, it is because you smell really bad. And I need some air. I can only hold my breath for so long.

6. If I explain that I cannot do something and I apologize for the inconvenience, that means no. Do not try to explain more or try to talk to someone else about it. You really can't cash a check when your loan is very delinquent, and you really can't pay on your loan within the grace period to avoid a late fee when your checking is negative. That is just the way it is.

7. If I explain that I cannot do something and I apologize for the inconvenience, do not tell me its been done before or that another branch always does it for you. I don't care, I still won't do it. In addition, I'll put notes on your account so it not likely anyone else will do it for you again either. Good luck.

8. When I ask you how you want your change back, don't say, "all in pennies" unless you really want pennies. Its really not that funny for you to say that.

9. When I ask if there is anything else I can do for you today, don't respond anything that includes giving you a million dollars. Again, Its really not that funny for you to say that.

10. Also, when I ask if there is anything else I can do for you today, don't respond with, "yes" and then walk away. Either learn better English or pay attention to what I am saying.

11. Do not come into the branch 3 minutes before we plan to close and expect to do a wire transfer, apply for a loan, close on a loan, or have us go through all your transactions for the month and balance your check book for you.

3 comments:

KAT said...

Ha ha. I like those. I know how frustrating it can be to help a customer who has no clue or who won't cooperate.

tami and todd said...

Lol! Sounds like you're really enjoying being back to work! I could complete understand the last one because I'd have customers come in just before close expecting a whole shoot then get mad when I'd offer to schedule them another day! I loved the comment about customers smelling bad, so you'd revert to the pen drop :) Very nice!

bequi said...

So when they ask how I want my $19 and I say, "...Money?" You're telling me that's not funny?

When I did loans for Discover Card and you end the phone call "Anything else I can do for you today?", people would frequently pull out that joke, "You can send me a million dollars!" I'd tell them the check was in the mail and we'd both pretend to laugh.